My heart is heavy these past few days. There is a lot of pain and sadness among people I care for, and it can’t be escaped.
One story in particular has given me pause; this month a teenager with Asperger’s Syndrome stabbed and killed another teenager at their high school. Not in my town–clear across the nation. But it has grabbed me by the heart. Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome are characterized by an inability to understand consequences and motives. And this young man has been charged as an adult.
I attended a Sundance screening of the film Autism Every Day. This film has garnered much criticism, for many reasons. The group behind the film, Autism Speaks, is controversial to some for its efforts to “cure” autism spectrum disorders.
The families in this film are dealing with children that occupy their full attention 24/7. I know families like this–their children require constant supervision, which is an exhausting proposition. At the back of the mind of any parent of a child who needs full-time care is the fear that there will be no one to care for the child when the parent is gone. The main criticism of the film is directed toward a frazzled mother of a girl with autism who admits to contemplating running her car off the George Washington bridge with her daughter (and herself) inside. I never thought she was seriously contemplating murder, as her critics maintain; I thought she was speaking aloud a horrible truth that many parents would admit to at least having had cross their minds.
Also in the film a father describes his family’s efforts to protect their child from the dangers of a pond on their property, then breaks down in tears admitting he sometimes wonders if—
His shame and grief are palpable. He has not been vilified in public as far as I know.
I thought the film was honest and thought-provoking. The families featured did not reflect my experiences, but I cannot judge theirs. I’ve always known I’m fortunate to have a child who is calm, easygoing, and with hardly any anger. And without need for round-the-clock supervision. Others have much different challenges. I’m glad I don’t have to walk a mile in their shoes.
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Of course, we live very close to that school in MA and this has been all over the news. The question that keeps coming up is what was this child doing in public school? I won’t pretend to understand autism at all and I recognize the need to mainstream as much as possible but somewhere along the line someone didn’t recognize some truths about this boy, I think. Is my assessment correct? I’d love to understand this better.
Posted 31 Jan 2007 at 4:44 am ¶I’m proud of the way our town has handled this so far, but it’s only because we’re blessed to live in a caring, compassionate community where most people have a fairly high level of sophistication and education.
Still, it’s amazing the conclusions people jump to. There is so little we know. Rumors have been flying: that the boy who committed the murder had a long psychiatric history with written documentation of violence, that the school does not have control over the program through which he entered the high school. It will all come out in time, I’m sure.
The parents of children with special needs are running scared here. Because, of course, some people will use this as justification for cutting out special ed programs. Our son requires some extra help for mild NLD and executive function deficiencies. It’s important to remember that kids receiving “special education” run the entire spectrum and that the group should not be singled out because of a horrific act committed by one individual. As the community has been reminded, public education is intended to serve ALL.
Will let you know when I receive more info about the case. (Oh, and did you see that Scientologists used this event to picket the school with regard to the fact that this kid was on medication? Unbelievable.)
Posted 31 Jan 2007 at 8:18 am ¶What the fuck is up with those Scientologists? As if the family and community didn’t have enough shit to deal with. My 10 year old nephew was diagnosed with Aspergers a few years ago, but we never spent time around him since he was tiny until Thanksgiving. His family has it really hard–he has a lot of trouble dealing with anger and things that are out of his control, and I think that it was hard for the extended family to really understand what was happening and why his parents couldn’t “control” him. But it certainly was a learning experience for everyone.
Posted 31 Jan 2007 at 9:46 am ¶Laurie, the Boston Globe ran a report yesterday you’ll be interested in:
http://www.boston.com/news/globe/editorial_opinion/oped/articles/2007/01/30/the_facts_and_myths_of_aspergers_disorder/?p1=MEWell_Pos2
One of the questions raised is whether or not this boy was receiving enough support and supervision at school. The high school encourages independence and is run more like a college campus. The kids love it there, but it could be very overwhelming (the building is huge) for some. Heck, I found it intimidating when I was there a couple weeks ago.
The other point that has been raised — and one which we’ve had experience with — is the issue of bullying. It is a big problem not only in our town, but in this country. This boy was from out of town, but had been picked on through elementary and middle school. Some kids reported he had been teased at the high school. Seeing what bullying did to our son in his elementary school years, it’s easy to understand how it could drive someone with a disability like Aspergers (because of the social difficulties they face) to snap.
When all is said and done, it’s a horrible tragedy. The boy that was killed was new to town. His parents had moved here so that their son could join a safe and supportive school environment. I cannot even begin to imagine how they feel.
Posted 31 Jan 2007 at 2:48 pm ¶