More Thrums from Spinderella’s Creations; this time Enchanted Forest
I’ve got another bobbin full of n00b yarn; now what do I do? Wrap it on a niddy-noddy into a skein and then pet it? Okey dokey.
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The aforementioned new feeling from this post’s title is hard to describe. It’s not happiness, or fear, or jealousy, or melancholy; perhaps it’s closest to nostalgia—but whatever it is, it’s bewildering. I can’t think of the last time I encountered a new feeling.
No—wait. Yes I can. When my first baby was born I was overwhelmed by the feeling of vulnerability. I knew then that I would forever be vulnerable, because someone could devastate me if they hurt my child. I remember that feeling, sickening almost, and I remember asking my friends when it would go away–when I wouldn’t feel like I was walking around with an gaping wound for all the world to see.
They laughed.
Yet I had known vulnerability before. This, now, is truly heretofore unknown.
What prompted it was when my younger son confided in me that he has a girlfriend. His first. He feels it’s quite serious. He’s seventeen; they both are students at the high school where I teach. After he told me, he texted her to let her know that he had talked to me and felt much better about it. He showed me the text she wrote back that said she felt better too, and now maybe we could be formally introduced.
Their intimacy brought confused tears to my eyes.
I can’t put my finger on exactly what I’m feeling. Perhaps it is a touch of melancholy–a realization that time passes so quickly and that earnest little boy is on the brink of manhood.
I feel very old–I know that much.
Comments 9
Hannah hasn’t had a boyfriend yet but I’m dreading it. I think the spinning will help you in this time to come.
Posted 22 Oct 2007 at 5:34 am ¶You’ve got a Lazy Kate, right?
Carole is right. While you watch your son go through his life cycles you’ll enjoy the spinning wheel more and more.
Posted 22 Oct 2007 at 5:48 am ¶oh….fabulous that he shared it with you.
Posted 22 Oct 2007 at 6:20 am ¶Okay - good. Green. All is right with my world now.
It’s all kinda bittersweet, isn’t it? While you’d never want time to stand still and not have your kids grow up and move on, sometimes you wish you could make the clock stop….just for a few minutes a day.
Posted 22 Oct 2007 at 6:51 am ¶Do I hear “Sunrise, Sunset” playing in the background? It’s great that he talked to you about it, and you’re probably spot-on about why you’re feeling as you do. Hope everything goes well for him.
Posted 22 Oct 2007 at 8:12 am ¶How sweet and the two of them want to share with you!!
Posted 22 Oct 2007 at 10:44 am ¶Oh wow. You must be doing something right… good to have spinning to do to think it all out, too.
Posted 22 Oct 2007 at 5:08 pm ¶Jeez. What a good post. There’s so much subtext there as well, I think. I can try to relate, but at the same time that’s still so far off. Or at least it seems that way.
I know what you mean about the vulnerability. It’s different from only having your own person vulnerable. It was Elizabeth Stone who said, “Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”
Posted 22 Oct 2007 at 5:22 pm ¶What a lovely boy you have!
Posted 23 Oct 2007 at 12:47 pm ¶Post a Comment