A: Look left, look forward, then accelerate
B: Look left, stomp on the accelerator, rear-end the car in front of you who hasn’t turned yet, you moron.
I hate people. Especially when they rear-end my car with their SUVs.
I was stopped at a red light. The Pathfinder behind me was stopped, also. I pulled forward to get a better view of traffic, and next thing I know I’m trying to remember how to operate my iPhone to find the number of whatever fucking police have jurisdiction at the intersection of 6200 South and Highland Drive. This takes me awhile, but before I can totally figure it out, an adorable police officer is at my window, inquiring in quite a caring and adorable way if I’m all right.
“I have a headache,” I say. “I know,” he says, in a tone one generally uses to address a petulant (my favorite kind) five year old. It’s adorable. “I had one too when I was rear-ended. It’ll probably hurt for a few days. May I have your license and insurance information?”
I look for my purse, which has flown from the passenger seat and landed upside down on the floor. How did that happen? I was stopped. Curiouser and curiouser.
Eventually, I’m free to leave, as it appears my mighty Subaru said “fuck that” to the crunched up Pathfinder. At least I think it was crunched up. Officer Adorable told me it was. I never got out of the car; it seemed like too much effort. Besides, had I engaged in conversation with the other driver, I might have been cited for attempt to choke a bitch. Or not. I was feeling sorta non-committal, when I wasn’t feeling pissed as hell.
It did occur to me a few minutes later that perhaps I wasn’t really in any condition be driving, seeing as how my thinking was kinda fuzzy, but by then I was at work. Couldn’t teach worth shit for a couple of hours, though.
Later that day, the PA told me that the way I felt right then was as good as I was going to feel for awhile. Great. She said by day four I’d feel as though I’d been hit by a truck. I think she meant me, personally. My car already felt that way.
Diagnosis: whiplash and blunt force trauma. It’s not a good sign when your head aches immediately after someone rear-ends you, especially when you head didn’t hit anything. Because that means your brain bopped around your skull, which isn’t really very good for it.
The Flexeril she sent me home with is a muscle relaxer but doesn’t seem to have the same promise as the quaaludes that were popular when I was a youngster. Not that I ever used them. But whatever.
Comments 14
Well I hope you’re better soon. What an awful day for you.
Posted 12 Feb 2009 at 10:33 pm ¶oh, sweetie, I am so sorry this happened to you. If you can when you feel better you may want to get an xray of your neck just to check it all. Hope you (and the subi) recover quickly.
Posted 12 Feb 2009 at 11:45 pm ¶hugs.
Damn! You need some horse tranqs! And a hug? A virtual hug?
*hugs*
Posted 13 Feb 2009 at 12:33 am ¶Ah shit! Not that it will make you feel any better, but at least it wasn’t any worse.
Hoping for a speedy recovery for you over the long weekend!
Posted 13 Feb 2009 at 5:42 am ¶Take care of yourself and let me know if I can do anything to help!
Posted 13 Feb 2009 at 5:42 am ¶Crap. Take care of yourself, Laurie.
PS–Flexaril makes me high instead of relaxes me, but Skelaxin is wonderful.
Posted 13 Feb 2009 at 7:00 am ¶Suck.
Posted 13 Feb 2009 at 7:49 am ¶I was rear ended under nearly the same circumstances but my car is a bit larger than yours and it absorbed most of the impact. Which, of course, means it was all crumbled in the back. But I felt fine. Lucky you about the cop, though. My accident took place downtown and the SLC police didn’t arrive for one.hour! At least you were out in the County where the service is better.
Hope you feel better soon, L. and that the pills work while you are mending yourself.
Posted 13 Feb 2009 at 8:16 am ¶Oh, Sweetie. That totally sucks! Take it easy this weekend. Love you.
Posted 13 Feb 2009 at 8:39 am ¶You poor thing! I second the virtual hug.
Been there, experienced that. You might also have bruises from the seat belt that I KNOW you were wearing. I can send you some virtual Vicodin for the muscle spasms that will come.
I hope that Pathfinder was crunched but good. The bastard!!
Posted 13 Feb 2009 at 3:13 pm ¶Oh how awful! Rest a lot and give yourself time to heal.
Posted 15 Feb 2009 at 12:09 pm ¶Shyte! I hope you are on the mend.
Morons.
Posted 15 Feb 2009 at 4:41 pm ¶How awful! Sorry to hear about that. I can sympathize – I’ve been rear-ended THREE TIMES when I was at a dead stop. Sheesh.
Posted 16 Feb 2009 at 5:50 pm ¶Oh, I’m so sorry. It’s been a bit, are you on the mend?
Posted 17 Feb 2009 at 9:29 am ¶Post a Comment